Skip to content

Friday, April 26, 2013

scottluhrs_flyer

Filed in Uncategorized | | Comments (0)

Friday, April 5, 2013

I have an idea for a libertarian super hero named, “The Invisible Hand.” His parents were killed by union organizers.

Filed in Uncategorized | Tagged | Comments (0)

Thursday, April 4, 2013

How come when I type “mexican” into Yelp it only gives me restaurants?

Filed in Uncategorized | Tagged | Comments (0)

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

I never put gas in my Gremlin after midnight.

Filed in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Comments (0)

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Nudge the envelope.

Filed in Uncategorized | Tagged | Comments (0)

Monday, April 1, 2013

How about a sci-fi show where the space ship just flies around looking for parking?

Filed in Uncategorized | Tagged | Comments (0)

Friday, March 29, 2013

Hitler was a motivational speaker.

Filed in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Comments (0)

8 Modern Day Omens

Thursday, March 28, 2013
  1. Drop your phone. If it lands face up, you will receive welcome news from a friend or relative. If it lands face down, it is broken.
  2. When your entire face tingles you are about to be tagged in a photo.
  3. Finding a spider in your bathtub means you must touch an old man’s leg before you buy your next lotto ticket.
  4. Take a fun, fanciful word that describes you and then add the word “taco” after it. That is your online dating screen name.
  5. A barista using whole milk instead of skim to make your coffee drink means your day is ruined.
  6. If an expert on a daytime television show lists seven signs that your partner is cheating on you and all of them apply then that expert is a witch.
  7. Passing by an accident on your way home from work is good luck.
  8. If no hummingbirds visit your hummingbird feeder then your children will be autistic.
Filed in thursday special | Tagged , , | Comments (0)

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Whole Foods is the only grocery store where I go window shopping.

Filed in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Comments (0)

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Eventually, every tattoo looks like someone shook them up in an etcha sketch.

Filed in Uncategorized | Tagged | Comments (0)

Monday, March 25, 2013

I’ve done pretty much everything I wanted to do with my life and now it’s horrible.

Filed in Uncategorized | Tagged | Comments (0)

Friday, March 22, 2013

Why do couples out together on the weekend, especially the ones wearing The North Face gear, look so sad?

Filed in Uncategorized | Tagged | Comments (0)

Thursday, March 21, 2013

You ever feel sad and lonely and then Netflix recommends, “Friends?”

Filed in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Comments (0)

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

If you take a militant approach expect a militant response.

Filed in Uncategorized | Tagged | Comments (0)

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

North of the border they call us, “Canada Mexico.”

Filed in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Comments (0)

Monday, March 18, 2013

My smartphone has a cracked screen for the same reason I wear torn jeans, because broken objects are cooler than nice ones.

Filed in Uncategorized | Tagged | Comments (0)

Friday, March 15, 2013

free slaves

Filed in Uncategorized | Tagged | Comments (0)

Thursday, March 14, 2013

The message of both political parties isn’t about what they will do but, “We’ll keep you safe from the other guys.”

Filed in Uncategorized | Tagged | Comments (0)

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

No one knows you like I wish I didn’t.

Filed in Uncategorized | | Comments (0)

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

I’ve been following this whole pope thing religiously.

Filed in Uncategorized | Tagged | Comments (0)