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Monthly Archives: January 2009

Many couples remain silent during sex so as to spare each other the reminder that someone else is there.

The most beautiful words in the English language are typically French.

I’ve turned solitaire into a drinking game.

One man’s financial crisis is another man’s “I told you so.”

Obesity Virus

So as it turns out a number of people who suffer from obesity may owe it to a virus which causes adult stem cells to convert to fat cells. Even though this affects about 30% of people who suffer from obesity I assume a much larger number will attribute their condition to this virus. And [...]

To those who accuse me of vanity I ask, “who are you again?”

Someday I want to open a liquor store exclusively for hobos and post a sign reading, “breakfast served all day.”

You ever wake up screaming only to realize it’s the guy you have locked in your closet?

Thrust Counter

Over at Best Week Ever they’ve talking about a ring that can be fitted to the penis and used to count the number of thrusts achieved during intercourse. I think the more mechanically minded will notice this device favors the less well endowed as those with bigger (or at least lengthier) penises consume more time [...]

I’m writing a work of religious inspiration called “Five Books You Will Burn in Heaven”.