Some women think the world would be better off without men. I agree with them 50%.
We are entering an age where employers will ask, “how do you feel about a job working for computers?”
Some people are not appreciated until they’re gone. Or perhaps because of it.
Anyone who calls my work barbaric has never had their head split in half with an axe.
A new car loses 1/3 of its value when you drive it off the lot and 1/2 it’s appeal by the time you get it home.
Sometimes, the only way you’re willing to spend time in another man’s shoes is if you’re dancing on his grave.
I’ve become bored by my dirtiest fantasies. I blame it on their achievement.
I keep hearing a lot about this single payer health plan. Boy I’d sure hate to be that guy.
You can always tell the brightest students by the end of business school. The last thing they learn is how to fleece a mark and they derive that knowledge from their most recent experience.
While I don’t believe in an ultimate higher power I am open to the idea that power is the ultimate high.
When opportunity knocks stick a shotgun through the mail slot, blow away his kneecaps and drag his screaming soon to be corpse inside.
I recently tried to sell my suit of armor at a place that buy’s clothing by the pound.
The scientist accused of playing god may retort that she’s merely picking up the slack.
There is a species of dysfunctional romantic for whom the concept of love is defined by its collapse.