Wednesday, September 23, 2009
In order to realize the goals of feminism it is necessary that women own the means of reproduction.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Working in an office is such an act of misery it becomes tempting to hang oneself with one’s own mouse cord. Unfortunately, progress has given us the cordless mouse.
Monday, September 21, 2009
I went into see my life coach and he said I’m off the team.
Friday, September 18, 2009
A one night stand is like getting caught masturbating by your parents: surprising, awkward and followed by apologies from both parties.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
A curmudgeonly hybrid of book review and one liner stand up comedian: “In 1957 Kurt Vonnegut wrote a groundbreaking novel, he then proceeded to write it again twelve more times.” “Tom Wolfe’s latest book would be best committed to a bonfire of the vanities” “Dave Eggers A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius is a touching [...]
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Men withhold affection from their wives only to weep in front of whores.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
LSD can profoundly affect the way that one looks at psychedelic posters.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Party politics is the process by which open ended questions are given yes or no answers.
Friday, September 11, 2009
The main reason I want health insurance is so that I can get fun drugs that will make me overall less healthy.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Few things are creepier than a person’s name on a to do list.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
I’m not afraid of dying in the apocalypse I’m afraid of surviving it.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
I’m not a reckless driver, just an incompetent one.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Human perfection is an oxymoron.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Property is theft and if you agree but think I stole the notion then I suggest you reconsider.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
From high school onwards my concept of fun has simply come to mean poor judgment and degeneracy.