Clever Things to Say

Making a Resume
1. Impress them from the first glance: print it on human skin.
2. Use action language instead of saying, “I carried water” say “I expedited vital resource acquisition” or instead of saying, “smuggled ammo” say “re-purposed rectal cavity”.
3. Don’t use complete sentences. It will set you apart and you will be burned as a witch.
4. Don’t be afraid to name drop, particularly if said names were wiped out in the collapse. Who’s to say you didn’t found google?

How to Dress
Every office has its own subtle dress code. The important thing at the interview is to look like you already belong. What is everyone else wearing? Is it intimidating leather armor with studs and small bones, or is it a more traditional atmosphere with tattered remnants of the world before, or maybe they’re sporting voluminous robes with which to hide their hideous deformities.

Is This a Job Interview or a Trap?
Is this a serious interview or is it just meant to lure you into an enclosed space.

Fringe Benefits
Does this company have a medical plan? Are there hidden conditions such mandatory organ donation?

Are They Cannibals?
If so you might want to tell them you’re a mutant. Many cannibals are afraid to eat mutants.

Things to Bring
Resume
Cover Letter
Gun
Briefcase
Another Gun