You only have to tell him once

He is able to open his mouth wide enough to fit a basketball

You don’t have to take him to Disneyland to see his face light up

He’s not dying of cancer

If you take out his eyes he can still see

He beat your real son to death in unarmed combat

His nose is a button and if you push it he will smile

Flame decals on abdomen

He’s not a girl

He streams his soccer game to your mobile device so you don’t have to be there

Every time his birthday approaches you can set his clock back another month

It’s technically not incest

    By Miles K and Jesse Elias

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