Instead of shrimp waiter, I am pet detective

Instead of shrimp waiter, I am legend

I spend winter trapped in empty hotel with wife and stepson but merely fail to write novel

Shark in ocean causes me to write funny joke about people being eaten by sharks

Lose friend during wild bachelor party, never speak of it again

I comply with instructions not to feed gremlins after midnight by not feeding gremlins at all

Son claims to see dead people, he is enrolled in Montessori school for gifted children

Daughter becomes possessed by devil, she is institutionalized for life

I travel back in time to kill savior of humanity but instead become shrimp waiter

Samuel L Jackson’s speech on sharks interrupted by me eating him

3 thoughts on “My life if it were reinterpreted by famous movies

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