New York, New York: at midnight, the subway cars are filled with partially digested green beer.

South Boston, Massachusetts: anyone not wearing green is stabbed.

Cambridge, Massachusetts: anyone not wearing green loses tenure.

San Francisco, California: Mailmen in the Sunset District are required to take a drink at each stop until they pass out and children steal their mail.

San Diego, California: Everyone eats a burrito made with potatoes.

Seattle, WA: Seattlites drink heavily while staring silently into their beers.

Austin, TX: Everyone tells everyone else they are a quarter Irish.

3 thoughts on “St. Patrick’s Day Traditions Around The Country

  1. I’m not actually sure Austin celebrates St. Patrick’s Day… it always falls in the middle of SXSW and just becomes another justification for the week long alcoholic binge you started days earlier.

  2. Of course. And there is one Irish bar that pretends to be relevant, even if most of their customers wandered in accidentally after 8 hours of day-drinking.

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