Co-written with Jesse Fernandez, Jesse Elias and Pete Scobel

Instead of wasting water on cleaning dishes, just buy new ones.

Beat the heat with Gatorade Frost, available in Glacier Freeze, Alpine Snow, and Whitewater Splash.

Burn down all the greenhouses to stop them from producing their gas

Switch to menthol cigarettes.

When smoking crack out of a lightbulb, use CFL light bulbs as they are more efficient

Go door to door with a clipboard for less-than minimum wage.

Drill a hole through the earth to release the heat trapped inside

Boycott big oil… huff paint instead of gasoline

Replace the melting ice-caps by using your freezer to make ice cubes at home and then drive them down tothe beach and dump them in the water.

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