Sometimes, life feels a lot like that movie Big with Tom Hanks. That’s the one where he’s a thirteen year old boy who makes a wish to be grown up. I made the same sort of wish when I was his age. Today, I woke up and it had come true. It seems like just […]
My new advertisement for an unpaid, personal assistant is up. Well over half of the text was culled directly from craigslist, ads for unpaid internships. Even though the ad is a joke please feel free to send me your resume. You can read it at the Higgs Weldon.
Photo by Blair Hopkins According to Cosmopolitan magazine, watching porn together can be a great way to spice up your sex life. I’ve found watching pornography with girls to be a mixed experience, at best. Even when it’s her idea it’s still an emotional minefield. I find it’s better to let her pick the video […]
I have an idea for a libertarian super hero named, “The Invisible Hand.” His parents were killed by union organizers.
I never put gas in my Gremlin after midnight.
Nudge the envelope.
How about a sci-fi show where the space ship just flies around looking for parking?
Hitler was a motivational speaker.
Whole Foods is the only grocery store where I go window shopping.
Eventually, every tattoo looks like someone shook them up in an etcha sketch.
I’ve done pretty much everything I wanted to do with my life and now it’s horrible.
Why do couples out together on the weekend, especially the ones wearing The North Face gear, look so sad?
You ever feel sad and lonely and then Netflix recommends, “Friends?”
If you take a militant approach expect a militant response.
North of the border they call us, “Canada Mexico.”
My smartphone has a cracked screen for the same reason I wear torn jeans, because broken objects are cooler than nice ones.
The message of both political parties isn’t about what they will do but, “We’ll keep you safe from the other guys.”
No one knows you like I wish I didn’t.
I’ve been following this whole pope thing religiously.