Clever Things to Say will no longer be updated Monday through Friday. I'll still post longer pieces but most of my short jokes will now be appear on twitter, which you can find below. For more me visit MilesK.net. Thanks for everything you guys!
April 22, 2013
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I have an idea for a libertarian super hero named, “The Invisible Hand.” His parents were killed by union organizers.
How come when I type “mexican” into Yelp it only gives me restaurants?
I never put gas in my Gremlin after midnight.
How about a sci-fi show where the space ship just flies around looking for parking?
Hitler was a motivational speaker.
Whole Foods is the only grocery store where I go window shopping.
Eventually, every tattoo looks like someone shook them up in an etcha sketch.
I’ve done pretty much everything I wanted to do with my life and now it’s horrible.
Why do couples out together on the weekend, especially the ones wearing The North Face gear, look so sad?
You ever feel sad and lonely and then Netflix recommends, “Friends?”
If you take a militant approach expect a militant response.
North of the border they call us, “Canada Mexico.”
My smartphone has a cracked screen for the same reason I wear torn jeans, because broken objects are cooler than nice ones.
The message of both political parties isn’t about what they will do but, “We’ll keep you safe from the other guys.”
No one knows you like I wish I didn’t.
I’ve been following this whole pope thing religiously.
Someday I gotta get this “No Adults Allowed!” sticker off my bedroom door.