I’ve heard girls complain that all they can get out of us these days is casual sex whereas my complaint is that I can’t get any casual sex.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
My linguist friend smokes a ton of pot. He’s a real Rosetta stoner.
Bus drivers have a horrible job, they’re basically running a mobile jailhouse/insane asylum.
How come you never see water and ships in the same bottle?
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Tagged silly
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This last week of April 2 – 6, the wonderful Sammy Franco was our guest blogger.
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Sentences not found in H. David Thoreau’s Walden If it does not sing, then it is not my fish.
Q: What did the head of security on the second death star say to Hammurabi? A: It’s an older code by it checks out.
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Oh No!!! Somebody spiked the punch!!!!
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Overheard at a Sarcastic 1600′s Dutch Brooklynite’s Boudoir: Take a woodcarving, it will last longer…
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Keep in mind that as soon as they can fire you: they will.
My bicycle helmet has a lifetime guarantee which isn’t saying much.
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Tagged death
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Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Someone put stapled paper through the shredder and it shredded the paper shredder.
Dicky Cheney was given a new heart today. Doctors had to first explain to him, “you don’t have to eat this heart in order to gain its power.”
People Botox themselves to look younger but often they just end up looking like a really handsome corpse.
Broadway is producing a play about Larry Bird and Magic Johnson…
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
“I darned my socks. “Yeah, fuck those socks.”
White lie: we’re an equal opportunity employer.