Announcer: Welcome to Antiques Road Show. This week we bring you to the Burning Waste, home of the longest continual funeral pyre. Will we discover treasures from before the shattering of the world? I hope so. A stinking barbarian clad in leather stands across from an appraiser. They are both standing outside in a barren [...]
We need to scour the earth of humanity so that animals can get back to murdering each other in peace.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
-New scanners can and will measure your cock for coming robot war
-Wal-mart greeter wishes death upon shoppers, “a happy thanksgiving”
-”Lebanese Armenians riot in Beirut Over Erdogan visit” claims inscrutable headline
Thursday, September 2, 2010
I created a quiz about what type of person you would be in the post apocalyptic hellscape, take it here.
I worry that the collapse of society might severely compromise my ability to blog.
Here are some wisecracks to use in the futuristic hell scape. How many pollocks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. There are no more light bulbs or Poland. What do you get when you cross a hooker and a poodle? A horrible mutant. What did the sailor say when he saw [...]
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Making a Resume 1. Impress them from the first glance: print it on human skin. 2. Use action language instead of saying, “I carried water” say “I expedited vital resource acquisition” or instead of saying, “smuggled ammo” say “re-purposed rectal cavity”. 3. Don’t use complete sentences. It will set you apart and you will be [...]
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Excerpt from a section on Mutants: Mutants come in many shapes and sizes and therein lies the tragic crux of their condition. Although certain deformities appear more frequently there is no single trait common to all mutants. Instead it is their rejection from human society which gives them a shared identity.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
I’m not afraid of dying in the apocalypse I’m afraid of surviving it.