I never put gas in my Gremlin after midnight.
My car won’t start. I think it’s this used gas I bought.
I took my car into the mechanic and he said he was going to rotate the tires. Don’t they do that already?
I figured out how to flip over a car with your bare hands. Get the car going really fast, put your hands on the wheel and snap it to the left.
Defensive Drivers: So what if it’s cramped? It gets great gas mileage.
Chicken is the only game where a tie is the most entertaining outcome.
Starbucks is testing a new drive through window where you pull up and they just pour the coffee directly onto your lap.
Valets are like the bitches of the racing world. Instead of driving cars they park them.
Motorcycles put a lot of people in wheel chairs. People who, luckily, have a confirmed affinity for open-air, two-wheeled vehicles.
Yesterday I drove my car into my garage, which is a pretty convenient place to crash a car.
If you think driving on the freeway is exciting try driving across it.
I’m not a reckless driver, just an incompetent one.
It’s always uncomfortable to run across a childhood bully. Particularly for him if you’re behind the wheel.
A new car loses 1/3 of its value when you drive it off the lot and 1/2 it’s appeal by the time you get it home.
I miscalculated my odds of success and therein lies my failure. Well there and the ditch that now contains my car.