Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, unless it’s being fed to you by another hand.
The appeal of prostitution is the notion of an honest, straightforward conversation that leads to sex.
“Take life one day at a time,” sounds like the affirmation of a serial killer.
No one ever wakes up and says, “I think I under drank last night.”
They say “less is more” which is true because it’s false.
I’ll stab your back; you stab mine.
A good rule for facebook: Friends don’t let friends friend non friends.
I have an idea that’s worth its weight in gold.
This cliche is an oldie but a goodie.
The next time someone says, “we need to think outside the box,” ask them, “why? what’s outside the box?”
A wheelchair bound man walks into a bar. It’s a miracle!
You can find yourself lost but you can’t lose yourself found.
Every man thinks that playing the stock market is like shooting fish in a barrel. What each man fails to realize is that he’s the fish.
I’m not laughing at you I’m laughing against you.
We’re always told to face our fears. But what if your greatest fear is whatever is behind you?
The problem with our system is that it’s possible to empty a bank account but not to fill it.
The international symbol for marriage is a white flag.
There’s nothing like a good week in Kansas except maybe a bad one.
Love can cause you to overlook anything about a person. Sometimes everything.
I never take the easy way out, which is how I got horribly burned in that fire.