I was so much smarter before I did drugs. I was so smart I could solve equations… with my mind.
Every time I do Yoga I smoke afterwards crack because I figure, “Hey, I earned this.”
This past Monday Ameen took me and Elizabeth on a trip to the beach. We each ingested a couple hits of LSD because we’re the type of people who don’t visit nature unless there’s mind altering drugs involved (in the name of moderation I should mention that I rarely visit nature). I brought my iPad [...]
I wrote a joke about the short duration of cocaine, in fact the joke itself is a one-liner.
My friend took acid and thought he could fly so he jumped off a cliff. Actually, we were on acid too so we helped out and pushed him.
I heard that it was fun to take ambien and then stay awake and masturbate. I didn’t enjoy it at all; my hand fell asleep.
April twentieth is a day when people watch their plans go up in smoke and are happier for it.
I’ve got a few bad habits but who doesn’t? Sometimes I bite my nails, big deal right? Sometimes I bite other people’s nails, why should they care? They weren’t using them. So like I said, maybe I have a bad habit of cutting people off in traffic, it’s just that every time I see someone’s [...]
Mechanic: Otto Gardener: Rose Car Dealer: Mercedes Drug Dealer: Crystal Burglar: Rob Congressman: Bill Plumber: John Athlete: Jacque Cartoonist: Drew Tech Writer: Manuel Geneticist: Gene Computer Engineer: Chip Hip Computer Engineer: Mack Hippie: Van
In the last few days I’ve been asking people about their plans for New Year’s Eve. So I wrote down some of the more popular and interesting responses. Get drunk Get wasted Get drunk and wasted Make up for entire year’s worth of disappointing parties Rape Anxiously host new Year’s party and pray friends come [...]