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Tag Archives: education

Sample GED question: two trains are heading towards each other at 40mph and 50mph, respectively. Please describe how you feel about explosions?

GED: for when you’re working at Blockbuster and you think you might like to manage.

Here’s a good question if you’re ever talking to a community college student, “How’s Spanish going this time?”

At the University of Phoenix you don’t get a diploma they just frame a copy of your receipt.

Video Time!

LAUGH AT: MICKY VAX’s COLLEGE GUIDE on MSN VideoStruggling motivational speaker and failed businessman Micky Vax has some advice for furthering your education. via Msn

Fifty years from now schoolchildren will be made bored by the story of how protesters were chain gunned down on Wall Street.

If a 19th century schoolmaster was given a TV show it’d be called, “Kids are forbidden from saying the darndest things.”

In college I took a class on western culture. It was total false advertisement, we didn’t talk about cowboys once.

Community college is educational purgatory.

Elite universities like diversity, just not diversity in GPA’s or standardized test scores.

Headlines

Ungrateful Little Bastards Report College is “Alright” Bee and Allergic Man Killed in Murder Suicide Pact Upwardly Mobile Dog Seeks Less Homeless Owner Wrecking Ball Operator Wins Big in Slamming of Abandoned Pog Factory Some were originally printed in the Heuristic Squelch

My Junior High Report on the Sun

The Romans called the sun ‘sol invictus’ or “the unconquered sun”. This was quite a compliment coming from the Romans who figured they could conquer just about anything. In fact, the Romans attempted several voyages to the sun, the first of which involved setting out at daybreak in a boat and trying to get to [...]

SAT’s are an excellent way to measure the quality of one’s private tutors.

When you study philosophy in college people always ask “what kind of a job will you get with that?” But in this economy I have a ready reply which is, “Same thing as you. Nothing.”

There is no known way to turn back time but graduate school is a means to stop it.

He was a man of few words but he used them all in excess.

It may be morally rewarding to have a job working with children but there are greater financial incentives in a job working against them.

You can always tell the brightest students by the end of business school. The last thing they learn is how to fleece a mark and they derive that knowledge from their most recent experience.

Looking back on high school I’m glad I was never there.