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Tag Archives: essay

Recent Entries from Dick Cheney’s Diary (originally printed in Savage Henry Magazine)

Thursday, May 17, 2012

On March 24th former Vice-President Dick Cheney received a heart transplant. March 24th, 2012 I got my new heart today. When the doctor showed it to me I snatched it out of his hand. They had to get four orderlies to pin my arms down before they got it back. Then the doctor explained that [...]

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Fake Bios for Local Comedians

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Day by day, moment by moment, Jesse Elias is crushing your comedy dreams by living them himself. His accomplishments are numerous, and grand, and will instantly make clear how sallow and pathetic your own accomplishments are in comparison. He is the #1 winner of the San Jose Orange Peeling Competition, he owns one or more [...]

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Vice

Thursday, April 8, 2010

I’ve got a few bad habits but who doesn’t? Sometimes I bite my nails, big deal right? Sometimes I bite other people’s nails, why should they care? They weren’t using them. So like I said, maybe I have a bad habit of cutting people off in traffic, it’s just that every time I see someone’s [...]

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