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Tag Archives: essay

North Korea at the Olympics

originally published at http://www.ebaumsworld.com North Korea, the world’s last stronghold of hard line communism, has been grabbing a lot of gold in the 2012 Olympics. The stakes are high for the athletes: winners will be generously rewarded when they return home, while losers would be best advised to seek political asylum.

My Horrible Experience Performing at Era Art Bar for a show titled “They’re All Gonna Laugh at You”

So here’s what happened: I arrived at the show and checked in with the doorperson, introduced myself to the host, and found a seat. At some point the other comics tell me that the show runner is looking for me. I saw her talking to a couple of people so I walked up and stood [...]

Recent Entries from Dick Cheney’s Diary (originally printed in Savage Henry Magazine)

On March 24th former Vice-President Dick Cheney received a heart transplant. March 24th, 2012 I got my new heart today. When the doctor showed it to me I snatched it out of his hand. They had to get four orderlies to pin my arms down before they got it back. Then the doctor explained that [...]

Fake Bios for Local Comedians

Day by day, moment by moment, Jesse Elias is crushing your comedy dreams by living them himself. His accomplishments are numerous, and grand, and will instantly make clear how sallow and pathetic your own accomplishments are in comparison. He is the #1 winner of the San Jose Orange Peeling Competition, he owns one or more [...]

Vice

I’ve got a few bad habits but who doesn’t? Sometimes I bite my nails, big deal right? Sometimes I bite other people’s nails, why should they care? They weren’t using them. So like I said, maybe I have a bad habit of cutting people off in traffic, it’s just that every time I see someone’s [...]