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Tag Archives: essays

My New Year’s

Thursday, December 29, 2011

People keep asking me, “Hey Miles, what’s your plan for New Year’s?” and I tell them, “I’m taking ecstasy,” which is a lie.

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Living

Thursday, March 31, 2011

“Everyone dies,” my uncle Ted once told me. So I killed him. If he had said “everyone lives,” I might not have. That’s the thing, everyone does live, or at least, everyone lives for awhile until they give it up to get a job. I myself have lived it up, lived in Napa and lived [...]

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My Lonely Friend

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Mike made artisanal chapstick on his secluded bee ranch up in the Sierra Mountains. He claimed that bees at higher elevations produced a subtler, breezier wax.

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Friends

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Friendship is a strange thing. As I see it, life’s a competition to obtain the most prizes which means that anyone else should be thwarted at every available opportunity.

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A Typical Day

Thursday, February 11, 2010

“First things first,” I always say. I say it all the time and no one ever disagrees. This is because I’m the boss around here and if people disagree with me I fire their asses. Onetime I had a sandwich that didn’t agree with me and I fired that too. Some people beg me not [...]

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