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Tag Archives: garden path sentences

Anyone who says, “I didn’t evolve from some kind of monkey,” is right. They didn’t.

They say that whites will become a minority by 2050. If we’re going to become a minority I just hope we turn into Chinese people. They really have their shit together.

I saw a billboard advertising, “Walk to Prevent Suicide.” I usually just take a nap.

Yesterday I drove my car into my garage, which is a pretty convenient place to crash a car.

A guy walked up, looked at my espresso and asked, “is that Peet’s Coffee?” “Not anymore” I told him, “Now it’s mine.”

Never play jump rope with your cat, when the tail comes off it’s a awful mess.