Clever Things to Say » jokes

admin — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 00:23:38 +0000

I want to make a movie that’s like 100 million dollars meets 200 million dollars.

admin — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 21:52:21 +0000

I’m twenty six now but I’ll have turned twenty four by the time I move to Hollywood.

admin — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 19:23:43 +0000

I don’t want to sound racist but every time I see a scary minority in a dark alley… I mug him.

admin — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 18:12:05 +0000

I saw a bumper sticker that said, “it is what it is,” which comes out to the same thing as not having that sticker.

admin — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 20:12:01 +0000

I updated an old joke to make it edgy: Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

admin — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 19:57:19 +0000

There wouldn’t be so much traffic if people just drove motorcycles, specifically, into stuff.

admin — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 02:37:44 +0000

My friend is so British he thinks blood sausage is a type of food.

admin — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 19:32:01 +0000

As far as those condoms made from sheep intestine, I’m alright with bestiality but NOT necrophilia, or was it the other way around?

admin — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 15:55:15 +0000

I just got plastic surgery to look more like that one celebrity who ruined her face with plastic surgery.

admin — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 18:57:55 +0000

Young people are terrible at sex which is why it takes them so long.