Skip to content

Tag Archives: love

A lot of people try and use the internet to help their love lives. No reason the cause of your isolation can’t be the cure, right?

Dogs are Man’s best friend. Dog’s beat out Man for Man’s best friend.

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. -Karen

My Lonely Friend

Mike made artisanal chapstick on his secluded bee ranch up in the Sierra Mountains. He claimed that bees at higher elevations produced a subtler, breezier wax.

This girl told me, “Every guy I’ve slept with has been one in a million.” But that would make it 150 guys if you confine it to the US alone.

Love can cause you to overlook anything about a person. Sometimes everything.

If you were to thaw her heart there’d be nothing left.

I finally met a woman who truly understands me. She has since left as a result.

Men withhold affection from their wives only to weep in front of whores.

A French kiss is one that looks better than it smells.

A friend of mine said, “Show me some love.” I said, “If I showed you love you wouldn’t know what the fuck you were looking at.”

You never know how much someone cares until you see how badly you can hurt them.

A woman once said, “Let’s make love until the break of dawn,” to which I replied, “Well then we better not get started until 4:45 am.”

I once threw pebbles at a girl’s window until she opened it, and then I threw them at her face.

There is a species of dysfunctional romantic for whom the concept of love is defined by its collapse.

People who contend that homosexuality is unnatural also hold that the supernatural is not.

Every time I upload a new picture to Facebook I seem to be thinking, “this’ll show her.”

Many couples remain silent during sex so as to spare each other the reminder that someone else is there.

To those who accuse me of vanity I ask, “who are you again?”