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Tag Archives: marriage

Friday, September 28, 2012

Why don’t we have doublewide coffins for dead married people?

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Tuesday, May 15, 2012

“I hate the internet.” “Then why don’t you marry it?”

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Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Children tend to get kidnapped for ransom over spouses because criminals don’t want to gamble on the strength of marriages.

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Monday, May 2, 2011

Instead of posting my wedding photos on Facebook I just want to do the whole thing there.

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my views on marriage in graph form

Thursday, March 3, 2011
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Monday, April 19, 2010

The international symbol for marriage is a white flag.

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Monday, March 1, 2010

A failed marriage ends in a divorce. A successful marriage ends in the death of one or both parties.

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A Typical Day

Thursday, February 11, 2010

“First things first,” I always say. I say it all the time and no one ever disagrees. This is because I’m the boss around here and if people disagree with me I fire their asses. One time, I had a sandwich that didn’t agree with me so I fired that too. Some people beg me [...]

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Friday, January 29, 2010

Cowboys have big belt buckles so as to better beat their wives and children.

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

If your first time is on your wedding night, with someone you truly love then there’s a good chance that your last time will be with someone you really hate and both will be with the same person.

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Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Men withhold affection from their wives only to weep in front of whores.

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