My friend was just diagnosed with Web MD. I don’t know what that is but it sounds bad.
I’ve been getting acupuncture treatments for my fear of needles.
Dicky Cheney was given a new heart today. Doctors had to first explain to him, “you don’t have to eat this heart in order to gain its power.”
Funny prank: go to the dentist and tell him your teeth have been bothering you. When he asks which ones, pull out a sandwich bag that holds all your bloody teeth.
Dogs Children The lump in my right breast
A wheelchair bound man walks into a bar. It’s a miracle!
My transgendered friend came out from her operation and I yelled, “It’s a girl!”
My chiropractor told me I have to stop using air quotes when I call him “doctor.”
I just found out my beard has cancer which means the rest of me is going to fall off.
There’s a reason therapists charge by the hour instead of using performance based pay, they’d die of starvation.
My attorney has a heart precondition. You have to satisfy the condition of being his client in order for him to have a heart.
I think kids these days are watching too much TV. The other day I saw two kids playing. The little girl said to the boy, “Let’s play house.” He told her, “Alright. But I get to be House.”
Chiropractor’s claim to be real doctors but when someone yells out, “is there a doctor in the house?” they never mean a chiropractor.
Practitioners of natural medicine speak as if disease were not perfectly natural. The point of medicine is to unnaturally extend one’s life.
A hypochondriac is someone who’s actual illness is the only one she isn’t treating.
A psychiatrist can more reliably validate parking rather than self esteem.
Smoking is saying to your lungs, “I wish you came in black.”
The first line of the Hippocratic oath is “First, do no harm” and the next says “Second, make sure to bill for that.”