Right now I’m in a Southern California paradise which would be great if I weren’t a troll from the netherworld.
The key to life is realizing it’s not locked.
Here’s a deep thought: what’s the prison population of your own mind?
Celebrity stalkers are the shadows cast by a solipsistic worldview.
Facts are busily being ground into meat.
I drink like a fish out of water.
I wish baseball had a fifth base because then we’d have a cute way of talking about anal sex.
Affluence and comfort are consolation prizes for reaching old age.
Community college is educational purgatory.
Every man thinks that playing the stock market is like shooting fish in a barrel. What each man fails to realize is that he’s the fish.
The problem with our system is that it’s possible to empty a bank account but not to fill it.
Fingers are the hands of your hands which are the fingers of your arms.
Some people treat life like’s it a race. The faster they get to the finish line the better.
American liberalism is forward thinking on a treadmill.
There’s more than one way to skin a sleeping dog All good things come to those who watch kettles Getting caught red handed with a bird in the hand is better than having your hands caught in a bush with angry birds Shit in one hand and hopefully someone will put a fish in the […]
Homeless people are like the raccoons of metropolitan areas. Always coming out at night to route through your garbage can with their furry little faces and opposable thumbs.
The two party system is a mobius strip.
Sometimes it feels like you’re on the outside looking in and then you realize it’s the reverse and you shut the blinds on whoever that is standing by your window.
Is climbing a tall mountain a metaphor for itself?
Metaphors are a doorway made from language leading out.