Clever Things to Say » movies

Movie Pitches from a Hollywood Mashup Artist

admin — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 19:22:42 +0000

Sixteen candles meets Grumpy Old Men, what do you think of “160 Candles”?

We’re bringing back Rick Moranis for a Todd Solondz project. It’s called “Honey I fucked the kids”

OK, what do you think of The Land Before Time meets Look Who’s Talking? It’s just a bunch of eggs, and they sit there rattling around with a voiceover. Now I know what your gonna say, “how will people tell them apart?” They all got different colored spots on their egg shells and the one with the wacky, different colored dots, he’s the Kramer of the bunch..

Titanic meets the Abyss, it’s just the ship sinkin’ to the bottom of the ocean.

admin — Mon, 23 May 2011 19:21:08 +0000

After seeing that movie Atlas wasn’t the only one who shrugged.

admin — Wed, 11 May 2011 18:16:25 +0000

On Netflix they have an adult section curtained off from the rest of the videos.

admin — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 17:00:16 +0000

I wanted my life to be more like a movie so I started killing people.

My life if it were reinterpreted by famous movies

admin — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 00:19:35 +0000

Instead of shrimp waiter I am pet detective

Instead of shrimp waiter I am legend

I spend winter trapped in empty hotel with wife and stepson but merely fail to write novel

Shark in ocean causes me to write funny joke about people being eaten by sharks

Lose friend during wild bachelor party, never speak of it again

I comply with instructions not to feed gremlins after midnight by not feeding gremlins at all

Use evil ring of invisibility to start voyeur porn site

Daughter becomes possessed by devil, she is institutionalized for life

Son claims to see dead people, he is enrolled in montessori school for creative children

I have sex with Hermoine but still fail her in potions class

I travel back in time to kill savior of humanity but instead become shrimp waiter

Samuel L Jackson’s speech on sharks interrupted by me eating him

admin — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 00:20:13 +0000

I came up with an alternative ending to the 6th sense: that little boy was crazy all along.

admin — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 16:56:13 +0000

“Do you think my life would make a good movie?”

“Is your name Spiderman? No? Then probably not.”

admin — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 18:20:26 +0000

It’s always exciting when the Netflix arrive. I open up the envelope, take them out and say, “Awesome, movies I wanted to watch when I was drunk and lonely three days ago.”