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Tag Archives: murder

“What will they think of next?” “Probably more ways to kill people.”

“Take life one day at a time,” sounds like the affirmation of a serial killer.

My Unfair Reputation

I am known for many things but not one of them is the murder of a famous actress. Why is that? Perhaps it’s because I’ve never murdered a famous actress, perhaps not. People know me as a safe driver, a good gift giver and an expert dog walker but not as the killer of a [...]

I have no problem with hunting as long as it is done for food, or maybe at least sex.

Living

“Everyone dies,” my uncle Ted once told me. So I killed him. If he had said “everyone lives,” I might not have. That’s the thing, everyone does live, or at least, everyone lives for awhile until they give it up to get a job. I myself have lived it up, lived in Napa and lived [...]

My friend took acid and thought he could fly so he jumped off a cliff. Actually, we were on acid too so we helped out and pushed him.

If I could breath underwater the first thing I’d do is fake my own death. Right after murdering this one guy.

I got out some herbicide for my neighbor. Yeah, Herb’s gonna get it.

I wanted my life to be more like a movie so I started killing people.

There’s a big difference between saying someone died in your arms versus they died in your hands.

If animals started talking we’d have to kill them even faster.

Most people hope their dreams come true. I don’t know if I could live with that much blood on my hands.

Serial killers don’t understand the difference between getting a life and taking one.

If these walls could talk I’d have to kill them too.