Thursday, October 27, 2011
*New Roommate Spends Entire Day In Towel.
*Stem Cell Researchers Stumble Upon New Jamba Juice Boost.
*Man’s New Lease On Life Six Months.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Man looks up to behold penis emerging from glory hole STOCKTON, CA—Sitting down in a truck stop bathroom, Angel Ramirez was dismayed and surprised to find male genitalia coming out from a hole. “It was truly awful,” claimed Ramirez. A self employed truck driver and father of four, Ramirez sat awkwardly as the mostly erect [...]
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Facebook is about to force a new profile design on users. Their slogan for this campaign is, “The new Facebook is coming… on your face.”
Thursday, November 25, 2010
-New scanners can and will measure your cock for coming robot war
-Wal-mart greeter wishes death upon shoppers, “a happy thanksgiving”
-”Lebanese Armenians riot in Beirut Over Erdogan visit” claims inscrutable headline
Thursday, October 28, 2010
-Wikileaks releases thousands of classified ads
-Wiccans teach children true meaning of Halloween
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
I’ve been selling old newspapers by calling them “vintage.”
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Ungrateful Little Bastards Report College is “Alright” Bee and Allergic Man Killed in Murder Suicide Pact Upwardly Mobile Dog Seeks Less Homeless Owner Wrecking Ball Operator Wins Big in Slamming of Abandoned Pog Factory Some were originally printed in the Heuristic Squelch
I saw a newspaper called “The Muslim Observer” and from the title I initially mistook it for a publication put out by the Department of Homeland Security.
I don’t usually read the New York Times at home because there’s no one there to see me do it.