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Tag Archives: not funny

Did you know that many states refused to celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr day until the year 2000? Despite claims to the contrary, that is because these states are racist.

When someone says “things were better in the old days,” he’s overlooking that the old days are what gave birth to the horribleness of nowadays.

The key to life is realizing it’s not locked.

How long before they start calling a lot of Americans terrorists?

Why don’t we just let the free market figure out what people’s votes are worth?

A party of hipsters is a refutation of their identity as unique individuals.

Celebrity stalkers are the shadows cast by a solipsistic worldview.

Ambitions are the flimsy refuge of a man’s shrieking insecurities.

The wealthy aren’t better people anymore than spiders are a better sort of fly.

Friday? More like extra-Thursday.

The world is becoming an ultra-efficient waste of time.

I think if you placed a giant mirror outside the boundaries of the universe, when the light finally arrived you could watch everything play out from beginning to end.

To be a monster is to confine one’s rationality to a very narrow degree and then follow that line to its conclusion.

Every flaw in my character is quietly salvaged as evidence of my genius.

Censorship aims to make art less profane than the world.

“It’s three quarters of a dollar.” “Couldn’t you just say it’s three quarters.”

They call it “risk management” because that’s a less obvious contradiction than “random chance control.”

If the Internet has all the answers we suffer from a poverty of questions.

Reality is a subset of modern living. It’s something one has the option of entering when bored with fantasy.

When we say someone is out of her mind the problem is actually that she’s spending too much time inside it.