I’m not laughing at you I’m laughing against you.
We’re always told to face our fears. But what if your greatest fear is whatever is behind you?
I never take the easy way out, which is how I got horribly burned in that fire.
When God closes one door he opens another. I just hope it’s not a trap door.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
He always has the same expression on his face; “only a mother could love.”
Monday, December 21, 2009
They say, “you’re only young once” but that’s not true. Some people are never young.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
One man’s trash is another man’s baby.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
If these walls could talk I’d have to kill them too.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
If someone uses fire to fight fire she will likely end up with just a bigger conflagration. But at least she can say to herself, “I’d like to think my fire won.”
In attempting to keep up with the Jones’ I accidentally ran over the Smith’s.
They say, “don’t shit where you eat.” But they also say, “don’t eat where you sleep.” However, that doesn’t rule out sleeping where you shit. Which was how I got caught napping in my boss’s car.
It’ll be a cold day in Los Angeles before I move back.
Dead men tell no tales, but old men really pick up the slack in that department.
A coward dies a thousand deaths, a brave man dies but once but far more horribly.
They say even a broken clock is right twice a day but not if that clock is on military time.
It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how hard you fucked his wife.
A penny saved puts you far above the average American’s credit to debt ration.
There’s a sucker born again every minute.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
He was a man of few words but he used them all in excess.