Work parties are like regular parties with training wheels.
A lot of people like lemon flavored Bacardi but I like Bacardi flavored vomit.
I was writing in my notebook at a party full of pretentious hipsters when someone walked up and said, “what do you think you’re better than everyone here?” I told him, “of course I think I’m better than everyone here. That’s exactly why I fit in.”
Now that I’ve stopped drinking I don’t have much to look forward to but I have a lot more to look back on.
Everyone knows the best way to start a New Year is with a brutal hangover.
In the last few days I’ve been asking people about their plans for New Year’s Eve. So I wrote down some of the more popular and interesting responses. Get drunk Get wasted Get drunk and wasted Make up for entire year’s worth of disappointing parties Rape Anxiously host new Year’s party and pray friends come […]