If science is the search for better answers then philosophy is the search for better questions.
Tip: don’t let the things you don’t know stop you from not using a condom.
I want to open a Bar called Plato’s Cave in which everyone is strapped down to chairs and forced to watch shadow puppets on the wall. It’d be super authentic.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
I practice clock warfare which is killing your enemies via the passage of time. It’s a slow, torturous death.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
The many murderous inventions of the mind of man are evidence contrary to the claim that the soul and the brain are the same thing.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
I saw a bumper sticker that said, “it is what it is,” which comes out to the same thing as not having that sticker.
Friday, December 23, 2011
When someone says “things were better in the old days,” he’s overlooking that the old days are what gave birth to the horribleness of nowadays.
My mother told me I was lucky to be born in a first world country, Conservative parents tell their kids that they deserved it.
If an antelope gets eaten by a lion did it die of natural causes? What about a redneck getting shot accidentally by his hunting buddy?
When I tell people I’m 6″2 and weight 135 lbs they react with shock and horror, as if I look any different upon telling them.
Facts are busily being ground into meat.
I was at a bar staring at a guy’s missing tooth and eventually he said, “what are you looking at?” so I told him, “nothing.”
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Q: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A: One provided you rotate the tootsie pop continuously along your tongue.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
“It’s not that I fail to get your joke I simply refuse to.”
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
To be a monster is to confine one’s rationality to a very narrow degree and then follow that line to its conclusion.
Censorship aims to make art less profane than the world.
They tell us to be happy with what we have. But that means I’d be even happier if I had even more of it.
If the Internet has all the answers we suffer from a poverty of questions.
Reality is a subset of modern living. It’s something one has the option of entering when bored with fantasy.
Art isn’t just paintings on a wall, there’s at least one case where it has appeared on a ceiling.