Tuesday, January 17, 2012
I saw a bumper sticker that said, “it is what it is,” which comes out to the same thing as not having that sticker.
Friday, December 23, 2011
When someone says “things were better in the old days,” he’s overlooking that the old days are what gave birth to the horribleness of nowadays.
My mother told me I was lucky to be born in a first world country, Conservative parents tell their kids that they deserved it.
If an antelope gets eaten by a lion did it die of natural causes? And if a hooker gets murdered by a serial killer does that count too?
When I tell people I weigh 135 lbs they react with shock and horror, as if somehow, suddenly, I look like a starving person upon telling them.
Facts are busily being ground into meat.
I was at a bar staring at a guy’s missing tooth and eventually he said, “what are you looking at?” so I told him, “nothing.”
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Q: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A: One provided you rotate the tootsie pop continuously along your tongue.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
“It’s not that I fail to get your joke I simply refuse to.”
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
To be a monster is to confine one’s rationality to a very narrow degree and then follow that line to its conclusion.
Censorship aims to make art less profane than the world.
They tell us to be happy with what we have. But that means I’d be even happier if I had even more of it.
If the Internet has all the answers we suffer from a poverty of questions.
Reality is a subset of modern living. It’s something one has the option of entering when bored with fantasy.
Art isn’t just paintings on a wall, there’s at least one case where it has appeared on a ceiling.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Capitalists can’t be optimists because you can’t look at a bank account and say, “it’s half full.”
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
The other day I saw a bumper sticker that said, “Equality for All” which doesn’t make any sense because “Equality for Some” would just be inequality.
When you study philosophy in college people always ask “what kind of a job will you get with that?” But in this economy I have a ready reply which is, “Same thing as you. Nothing.”
Pleasure and pain seem not like distinct entities so much as a single system of Good Cop Bad Cop.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
The desire for sex ruins life.