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Tag Archives: puns

I have to work on my garden tomorrow. No homeowner.

You know what I call white chiropractors? Back crackers.

This serial killer was drilling a hole into my head and I was all like, “BOR-ing!”

Everest is an ironic name for the world’s longest hiking trail.

I know a guy so homophobic he’s afraid to blow his own nose.

What did the witch say upon returning to her gingerbread house? “Home sweet home.”

Christians don’t delete messages. They prefer them saved.

Drugs aren’t user friendly.

If you ever get arrested in the middle-east don’t yell out, “unhand me!”

“Witches get stitches.” -old Salem proverb

Baby Names by Parent Profession

Mechanic: Otto Gardener: Rose Car Dealer: Mercedes Drug Dealer: Crystal Burglar: Rob Congressman: Bill Plumber: John Athlete: Jacque Cartoonist: Drew Tech Writer: Manuel Geneticist: Gene Computer Engineer: Chip Hip Computer Engineer: Mack Hippie: Van

My attorney has a heart precondition. You have to satisfy the condition of being his client in order for him to have a heart.

I dropped out of high school after I was voted most likely to secede.