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Tag Archives: religion

Christians look forward to life after death and I certainly think they’re right not to get their hopes up about this life.

When are they going to do a myth busters episode on God?

Yesterday I had a religious experience: I was repressed and beaten by a man in a black robe.

Top Amish Country Exports

A list of Amish Country’s top exports including: runaway carriages, mustaches, authentic handcrafted crap

When I have kids I’m going to raise them in a strictly religious household… just to fuck with them.

Religion is like a book club that lacks variety.

Current Events 10/28

-Wikileaks releases thousands of classified ads
-Wiccans teach children true meaning of Halloween

Christians don’t delete messages. They prefer them saved.

Community college is educational purgatory.

I am a religious voter in that I take voting to be a complete act of faith.

“Witches get stitches.” -old Salem proverb

If I were a transvestite I’d convert to fundamentalist Islam because a burqa is a great outfit for a female impersonator.

The meek shall inherit the earth but the government still keeps most of that.

Practice football and you’re sure to be better prepared when game night arrives. Practice abstinence and you will certainly fumble on the night in question.

Headlines

Ungrateful Little Bastards Report College is Alright Bee and Allergic Man Killed in Murder Suicide Pact Upwardly Mobile Dog Seeks Less Homeless Owner Wrecking Ball Operator Wins Big in Slamming of Abandoned Pog Factory Some were originally printed in the Heuristic Squelch

They say humans evolved from apes but there are some people who make you reconsider.

If I could go back in time and change one thing I’d stop Jesus from being nailed to the cross, because then they’d pretty much have to let me into heaven.

Sometimes we say a troubled man is a ticking time bomb; it’s particularly accurate in the middle east.

If your first time is on your wedding night, with someone you truly love then there’s a good chance that your last time will be with someone you really hate and both will be with the same person.

I think the dirtiest thing for the Amish would be pre-marital phone sex.