I’ve been following this whole pope thing religiously.
Maybe Lance Armstrong just sold that other testicle to the Devil.
Do you think Jesus ever asked a Roman soldier, “Do you know who my father is?”
All these kids go into Jesus camp and not one Jesus comes out.
You ever have two friends who don’t get along because they’re so similar? That’s how I feel about Christians and Muslims.
I just converted all my jpegs to Islam.
God burns our prayers to fuel the flames of hell.
Christians look forward to life after death and I certainly think they’re right not to get their hopes up about this life.
When are they going to do a myth busters episode on God?
Yesterday I had a religious experience: I was repressed and beaten by a man in a black robe.
A list of Amish Country’s top exports including: runaway carriages, mustaches, authentic handcrafted crap
When I have kids I’m going to raise them in a strictly religious household… just to fuck with them.
Religion is like a book club that lacks variety.
-Wikileaks releases thousands of classified ads
-Wiccans teach children true meaning of Halloween
Christians don’t delete messages. They prefer them saved.
Community college is educational purgatory.
I am a religious voter in that I take voting to be a complete act of faith.
“Witches get stitches.” -old Salem proverb
If I were a transvestite I’d convert to fundamentalist Islam because a burqa is a great outfit for a female impersonator.
The meek shall inherit the earth but the government still keeps most of that.