Monday, December 12, 2011
Christians look forward to life after death and I certainly think they’re right not to get their hopes up about this life.
When are they going to do a myth busters episode on God?
Yesterday I had a religious experience: I was repressed and beaten by a man in a black robe.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
A list of Amish Country’s top exports including: runaway carriages, mustaches, authentic handcrafted crap
When I have kids I’m going to raise them in a strictly religious household… just to fuck with them.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Religion is like a book club that lacks variety.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
-Wikileaks releases thousands of classified ads
-Wiccans teach children true meaning of Halloween
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Christians don’t delete messages. They prefer them saved.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Community college is educational purgatory.
I am a religious voter in that I take voting to be a complete act of faith.
“Witches get stitches.” -old Salem proverb
If I were a transvestite I’d convert to fundamentalist Islam because a burqa is a great outfit for a female impersonator.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
The meek shall inherit the earth but the government still keeps most of that.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Practice football and you’re sure to be better prepared when game night arrives. Practice abstinence and you will certainly fumble on the night in question.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Ungrateful Little Bastards Report College is Alright Bee and Allergic Man Killed in Murder Suicide Pact Upwardly Mobile Dog Seeks Less Homeless Owner Wrecking Ball Operator Wins Big in Slamming of Abandoned Pog Factory Some were originally printed in the Heuristic Squelch
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
They say humans evolved from apes but there are some people who make you reconsider.
If I could go back in time and change one thing I’d stop Jesus from being nailed to the cross, because then they’d pretty much have to let me into heaven.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Sometimes we say a troubled man is a ticking time bomb; it’s particularly accurate in the middle east.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
If your first time is on your wedding night, with someone you truly love then there’s a good chance that your last time will be with someone you really hate and both will be with the same person.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I think the dirtiest thing for the Amish would be pre-marital phone sex.