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Tag Archives: science

If we’re going to send a man all the way to Mars let’s make sure we’re getting rid of a real dick.

Why are there so many scientific studies on the benefits of ingesting semen but none on the medicinal properties of vaginal ejaculate?  

“What’s a laughing matter?” “Nitrous oxide, among other things.”

I think science will someday eliminate all human suffering by removing the relevant piece of brain tissue.

Anyone who says, “I didn’t evolve from some kind of monkey,” is right. They didn’t.

The air tested positive for Spring.

They should have atom smashing at the x-games.

I think if you placed a giant mirror outside the boundaries of the universe, when the light finally arrived you could watch everything play out from beginning to end.

Few people know that the discovery of fire was actually a disastrous attempt to reinvent the wheel.

Current events 9/30

Succulent carrion spotted by beady eyes of Meg Whitman Local pumpkin patch encourages wasting of food Habitable planet discovered, space race ensues to see who will destroy planet first

My Contributions to the Wikipedia page on Water Which are Continously Deleted

Water is clear up close but looks blue from far away. Scientists are still puzzled by why we cannot see the entire contents of the ocean just by standing on the beach. Oil and chemical companies also use the ocean to store toxic waste. No one cares because fish do not vote. Water can destroy [...]

The two party system is a mobius strip.

They say humans evolved from apes but there are some people who make you reconsider.

Evolution did not engineer us to be happy. Happy creatures die at the hands of fearful, plotting ones.

My Junior High Report on the Sun

The Romans called the sun ‘sol invictus’ or “the unconquered sun”. This was quite a compliment coming from the Romans who figured they could conquer just about anything. In fact, the Romans attempted several voyages to the sun, the first of which involved setting out at daybreak in a boat and trying to get to [...]

A girl once sprayed me with mace. I screamed, “Bitch! You blinded me with science!”

The scientist accused of playing god may retort that she’s merely picking up the slack.

Obesity Virus

So as it turns out a number of people who suffer from obesity may owe it to a virus which causes adult stem cells to convert to fat cells. Even though this affects about 30% of people who suffer from obesity I assume a much larger number will attribute their condition to this virus. And [...]