In this era, everyone considers himself a Casanova when, in fact, your average male is barely capable of landing one good woman throughout his entire life.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Transference is the only reason my therapist has clients.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
I heard that it was fun to take ambien and then stay awake and masturbate. I didn’t enjoy it at all; my hand fell asleep.
Monday, November 22, 2010
When I want to mess with someone I show up to a Craigslist casual encounter wearing a tuxedo.
Most people don’t realize that the song “Come on Eileen” was actually just a song about what’s on Eileen.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
A lot of women say size doesn’t matter but then why do they scream when I take out my two foot cock?
They say, “you only live once,” but tell that to the wasted sperm in my tissue basket.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
2How are things? 1Things are good. 2Yes? 1Yes. There are many things and all of them are all good. 2That is great. 1Yes you are right and it is true. How are things for you? 2Very new. There is a thing I did not have before but now I do and it is good. 1Is [...]
I wish baseball had a fifth base because then we’d have a cute way of talking about anal sex.
When aliens perform an archeological survey of the internet they will spend most of that time sifting through porn.
“I like you, but as a friend” “A friend with benefits?” “Um probably not.” “Well how about just the benefits?”
This girl told me, “Every guy I’ve slept with has been one in a million.” But that would make it 150 guys if you confine it to the US alone.
I’ve been using craigslist ride share but I’ve noticed it works a lot better if I cross list in casual encounters.
I have to thank my mother for helping all my dreams come true, except the sex dreams. That would just be creepy.
Upswing in economy disappoints man with guns New chat roulette restrictions spark outrage among disembodied cocks Oil spill pun crude
I saw this picture the other day while I was in the mall. Let’s take it for granted that Victoria’s Secret knows exactly what they’re doing. One can safely assume there’s a team of graphic designers picking over each image making sure that things like big subliminal dicks don’t make it in there on accident. [...]
Friday, February 26, 2010
Practice football and you’re sure to be better prepared when game night arrives. Practice abstinence and you will certainly fumble on the night in question.
Monday, February 22, 2010
HBO: Intelligent drama with tits and ass.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
In the last few days I’ve been asking people about their plans for New Year’s Eve. So I wrote down some of the more popular and interesting responses. Get drunk Get wasted Get drunk and wasted Make up for entire year’s worth of disappointing parties Rape Anxiously host new Year’s party and pray friends come [...]
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
“My boyfriend has a feminine side.” “Is it the inside? Because that’s where my penis would go.”