I’ll bet very few lumberjacks use Axe body spray, my guess is that they’re more partial to Brut.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Raisin Bran could be improved by adding two scoops of Fruit Loops.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Just like anyone else I put on my track pants one half at a time.
When I was 18 I bought a playboy and a gun, I then took them both out into the yard and shot my load into the playboy.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
If you were to take a video of me solving a Rubik’s cube and watch it in reverse it would be a video of me pulling all the stickers off and putting them back on in random order.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
I’m jealous of urinals because they get all the cake they can handle.
Filed in Uncategorized
|
Also tagged dirty, jokes
|
Friday, November 12, 2010
I got out some herbicide for my neighbor. Yeah, Herb’s gonna get it.
What did the witch say upon returning to her gingerbread house? “Home sweet home.”
A mosquito lands on my arm so I say, “can I offer you a drink?”
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Hi there. Thanks for your interest in our cooperative household. We are looking for a new member of our semi-functional experiment in alternative living since our former housemate, Jessica, has decided to pursue new opportunities “anywhere but here.” Due to diffused responsibility and general apathy no one has done a chore in over a month. [...]
Friday, September 24, 2010
I wrote a play on words but no one came to the premier.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Bear 1: Have you seen the latest line of bear traps? Bear 2: Ughh. I wouldn’t be caught dead in one.
Monday, September 20, 2010
I’m really glad toothpicks don’t serve the same function as ice picks.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
I’m about to take a trip and one of the places I will visit is Texas. So I researched these facts in preparation: Texas is known as the “Buckle of the Bible Belt.” It is the US state closest to the Sun. Texas is the largest contiguous state meaning even the state itself has an [...]
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
People sometimes wonder about the mechanics of gay marriage, “who will change their last name?” It’s different, of course, for lesbians and gay men. With lesbians each will keep their so-called maiden name and at the most add a hyphen. With gay men, they will trade last names.
I do like fly fishing but boy those things are hard to catch.
Mike made artisanal chapstick on his secluded bee ranch up in the Sierra Mountains. He claimed that bees at higher elevations produced a subtler, breezier wax.
I saw a magazine titled “Life & Style”. That’s like a magazine called “House & Boat.”
Friendship is a strange thing. As I see it, life’s a competition to obtain the most prizes which means that anyone else should be thwarted at every available opportunity.
This girl told me, “Every guy I’ve slept with has been one in a million.” But that would make it 150 guys if you confine it to the US alone.