Clever Things to Say » stupid

admin — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 18:27:48 +0000

Wednesday is called “Humpday” because it’s the middle of the work week, when you really feel like you’re getting fucked.

admin — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 17:02:42 +0000

I know a guy so homophobic he’s afraid to blow his own nose.

admin — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 17:10:06 +0000

I’m not just some Merman I am a MerMiles.

admin — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 16:34:38 +0000

A bicycle is an inconvenient way to exercise because after you’re done you’re somewhere else.

admin — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 15:47:13 +0000

My roommate got angry because I was doing Yoga in the living room. I think it’s because I was doing Masturbating Human pose.

(co-written with Ameen)

admin — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 16:09:14 +0000

My neighborhood is so bad the streets are negatively numbered.

admin — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 15:58:33 +0000

My friend is such a stoner he constantly forgets to smoke weed.

admin — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 16:12:13 +0000

When I was 18 I bought a playboy and a gun, I then took them both out into the yard and shot my load into the playboy.

admin — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 19:17:40 +0000

When I want to mess with someone I show up to a Craigslist casual encounter wearing a tuxedo.

admin — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 18:32:48 +0000

I’m really glad toothpicks don’t serve the same function as ice picks.