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Tag Archives: violence

Friday, August 28, 2009

Some people claim to be loved by their cats. It isn’t love if a change in relative size between the two parties would lead to murder.

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Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I’m often tempted to bring a gun to work. I’m a comedian.

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Thursday, July 2, 2009

Some people name their penises. I didn’t do that, but I did name my hand: the Boston Strangler.

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Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Studies have shown violence in video games can lead to a sharp increase in make believe homicide.

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Friday, June 12, 2009

A threat is an armed promise.

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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I once threw pebbles at a girl’s window until she opened it, and then I threw them at her face.

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Monday, March 23, 2009

Anyone who calls my work barbaric has never had their head split in half with an axe.

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